Sperm? Slug? Say No to Bad Brows

Sperm? Slug? Say No to Bad Brows

Who KNEW that brows would take on such importance? Looking back, who else wonders why we didn’t realise their importance sooner?


Yes, fashions change. Yes, taste is subjective. But no. Bad brows are bad brows. Some bad brows are very bad indeed – but oh! good ones make SUCH a difference. Nope, eyebrows are no longer just two lines of hair over your eyes.

Raise Your Eyebrows

Brows can do so much more than express surprise, or crinkle when you wonder just WHAT your bestie saw in her ex. Beautiful brows make a massive difference to the face. Well-groomed, perfectly shaped and shaded eyebrows open up the entire eye area and can give the face an instant lift. If the old adage is true, and the eyes are the windows to the soul, then the right eyebrows are the perfect window frame. The right brows will add definition, not just to the eyes, but to the face as a whole. They can even help to roll back the years somewhat and who wouldn’t want that?

Eyebrows can thin with ageing or be ruined by over-plucking. Previous shoddy work (shock horror – there ARE some badly-trained and unqualified ‘artists’ out there. Choose carefully) on your eyebrows can leave a lasting legacy of bad brows. Heavy-handed and unsteady-handed eyebrow pencilling can contribute to mistakes with our eyebrows.

Bad Brows. Naughty.

Bad eyebrows are such a ‘thing’ that there are countless Pinterest pages, hashtags and memes devoted to just bad brows. What comes to mind when you think of bad brows? A bushy monobrow? The 90s drawn-on, thin, arches? But there are so many more subtle – and not-so-subtle – ways to wreck your brows, and thus your entire face. Any of these sound (or look) familiar?

  • The Sperm Brow, also known as the tadpole. This baby looks exactly as you’d expect – a fat, rounded head and a longer, thin tail. Really, this look is best left to the tadpoles. And the sperm.
  • The Caterpillar is fat, hairy and not what you want to find on your face. At least not unless you’re appearing on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. The caterpillar brow is closely related to…
  • The Slug. As fat as the caterpillar but not at all hairy and thus even less natural looking. Usually drawn on, begging the question ‘why’? Seriously. WHY?
  • The Sharpie. Self-explanatory, this one looks like it has been drawn on in permanent marker. Usually the preserve of cheap practitioners and possibly the best reason to NOT use those cheap practitioners.
  • The Angry Bird. Black. And angry. A bit spiky. Very much like the cartoon characters after which it’s named. Obviously.


Another Way

Ok, ladies and gents – and everyone else, I’m an equal opportunities eyebrow artist – step away from the pencils. Shun the cheap salons. For goodness sake, put DOWN the tweezers. There is another way. Several, in fact. And it’s not just for those brows which have been butchered. I can help with:

  • Brows that have never been properly shaped.
  • Over-waxed or over-plucked eyebrows.
  • Light brows that need definition.
  • Thinning brows.
  • Badly drawn brows.
  • Brows that have been lost due to chemotherapy or alopecia


The Good News

It’s time for the good news. There IS still hope for these bad brows and eyebrows in need of assistance. Beautiful brows can be yours with Enhance of Cheshire. Specialising in exquisite, perfectly-proportioned, and properly planned out eyebrows, created the way YOU want them. Whether you choose microblading, powder brows or on-trend ombré, we will work together to get them just right:


Microblading is a semi-permanent treatment using micro-pigmentation.

Microblading is ideal if you want to improve your existing brow shape or if you’ve lost your eyebrows altogether. I will minutely measure and draw on the brow shape, before implanting pigment into the epidermis (the top layer of the skin) using a tiny blade. This creates ultra-realistic, hair like strokes.

Powder Brows

This method aims to replicate the look achieved by your favourite eyebrow makeup powder, using shading throughout the brow. The powder brow method is similar to a traditional tattoo, applying thousands of tiny dots of pigment, inserted into the skin. This gradually builds up colour and shape. It has longer lasting results than microblading and works on most skin types.

Ombré Brows

A more subtle version of the powder brow which gives a softer diffused bulb at the start of the brow, with the rest of the brow going progressively darker towards the tail of the brow.

Bespoke Brows

Whichever method you decide works for you, I will work with you to create bespoke brows just for you. There’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach here. Colour, shape, size and position, where the brows start and where they finish – everything is meticulously planned and painstakingly prepared. Not a drop of pigment will touch your skin until you’re happy.

The Real Eyebrows of Cheshire. That’s what you get with microbladed brows, powder brows or ombré brows at Enhance of Cheshire. If you’re not ready to part with your sperm brows, or you think the Sharpie look works, well. I’ll still be here when you come to your senses. But a word to the wise. Make it soon. Your face deserves better brows.